Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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