You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
