escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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