It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
