Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
