Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
