Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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