i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
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