there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
