I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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