went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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