my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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