A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
