Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
