I love having hate sex.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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