one two three fourrrrnication!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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