I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
