yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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