well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
