"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
