maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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