Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
