I want to have your abortion
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
