JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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