I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
