took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing