careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??