the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
well I can't set my house on fire every night
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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