i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
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i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.