i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.