When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
