You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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