that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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