"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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