You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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