You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
