ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
