he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Everything about him screamed your future.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize