Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
