i permit you to call me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
