Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There are leaves in my underwear?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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