Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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