well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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