i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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