ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
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MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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