did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
