I feel like abortions should bother me more
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize