i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
