You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
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And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
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She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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