Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
