Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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