WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
