I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
