its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Randomize
