We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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