That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
