Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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